Women Keep Women from Being Great

The sports world was rocked Tuesday when Simone Biles withdrew from Olympic gymnastics competition due to the mental pressure athletes on this illustrious international stage face. Tennis champion Novak Djokovic, the sports’ top-ranked player, remarked about Simone’s behavior:

“Pressure is a privilege, my friend. Without pressure there is no professional sport. If you are aiming to be at the top of the game you better start learning how to deal with pressure and how to cope with those moments — on the court but also off the court.”

As I pointed out yesterday in my Message to Simone Biles from Coach John Wooden, American women are ascending, which is wonderful. However, it appears we have not prepared our sisters and daughters equally as we prepared our brothers and sons. To be the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) requires discipline, talent, a bit of luck, relentless persistence and extreme mental toughness.

Women Must Be Mentally Strong

How many women feel sick each day, are hurting, maybe suffering their monthly period, yet push through and go to work so they can feed their family?

My beautiful wife is considered an “essential worker.” When COVID19 first hit the nation and government locked most of us down, she had to get up, get dressed, get on a public bus and report to her medical position. She didn’t have the luxury or privilege to say, “I’ll just sit this one out. You other gals go ahead without me.”

She is a hero. Each step she took pushing forward was through a “mine field” in this Third World War Against COVID19. She was horribly scared. Nobody knew if she would be safe. Each breath she took could suck in the deadly virus. There were no vaccines and everyone faced the unknown.

Today, my wife learned she was “highly exposed” to COVID19. Her small medical office hired a new female employee Monday. She sat next to my wife in a crowded space over eight hours for training. The new employee called in sick Tuesday. This morning, my wife leaned the employee had tested confirmed positive for the disease. My wife is quite alarmed, as one might expect.

To me, my wife has earned the Congressional Medal of Honor. Simone Biles has far more physical talent than my wife and I combined … yet my wife deserves a national Gold medal for her courage. I want young girls to be like my wife. She’s a true role model for American women.

An acquaintance on social media, Kimberly England, has a different perspective about raising our next generation of female champions. She believes it’s acceptable to sit down when under pressure, quit on one’s team and leave the rest holding the bag, if and when the going gets tough. She and I had a discussion over this topic. I share this conversation with you.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

American Football Coach Knute Rockne

Kimberly England Advertises her MSc Psychology Background

Many people may see Kim’s personal social medial self-promotions. In our discussion, she resorted to attacking me personally — rather than maintaining a professional demeanor. And, apparently in frustration, she deleted all our comments. Thankfully, I had been saving the discussion.

Is this the character of a professional you want analyzing and teaching your child how to adapt and overcome the obstacles and challenges they will face in their future?

Kim posted a collage of her fun pursuits on her social media page.

Kim’s picture of the honu (sea turtle) disturbed me. Locals know not to mess with sea creatures. Such behavior is major kapu in Hawai’i. If you don’t know, please don’t go.

Kimberly England Disturbing Local Sea Creatures. Major Kapu
Kimberly England Disturbing Local Sea Creatures. Major Kapu

Kim also highlighted her appreciation of the first European pilgrims. In our controversial WOKE culture, those who champion the initial settlers from Europe are considered “colonizers.”

Descendants of these settlers soon stole the land from the indigenous tribes of North America, as well as the Sandwich Islands from the Kanaka Maoli, Native Hawaiians. It’s a sensitive topic around here. A professional psychologist might want to be more kind and less cruel.

Kimberly England as The Colonizer. Not appreciated here. Be Better and learn local culture.
Kimberly England as The Colonizer. Not appreciated here. Be Better and learn local culture.

The Behavior Psychologist Debates a Sports Psychologist

I posted a link to my article under Kim’s meme yesterday. This led to the below discussion over how we teach America’s girls, female teens and young women to manage the Pressure of Privilege.

In Kim’s opinion, it’s ok to withdraw from big competitions — if one feels like it; if one doesn’t feel up to taking the risk; or if one would rather remain focused on their selfish interests — on yourself — rather than others. She claims “some of us have evolved.”

Kimberly England MSc Psy Resonds
some of us have evolved beyond this mentality.

Kimberly England MSc Psy
Scott Goold some of us have evolved beyond this mentality.
Kimberly England MSc Psy believes “some of us have evolved beyond this mentality.”

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — you’re correct. Simone doesn’t owe me anything. I’ve never asked her for anything. Whether she completes or not doesn’t matter to me at all — BUT I’m not on her team.

It seems men are trained differently about being on a “team.” We are taught there is obligation to the team; that we have responsibility to the team. We live and die for the team.

If it’s the job of the team to rescue a wounded soldier or citizen or another human being, then we are taught, trained and prepared to DIE for the team and mission. Same in military and in sport.

I’m not sure if women understand team this way. Simone, “I’m not feeling it today. I’ll just sit out.” How many young, 18-year-old men would have LOVED to say this rather than storm the beaches at Normandy; or pass being drafted to Vietnam.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
mental health issues are just as debilitating as a broken arm….she wouldn’t have completed with a broke arm or leg…this is same as far as injury cept you can’t see. I coached Gymnastics for many years and it is more mental of a sport so she was smart to pull out or she could have killed herself. It’s not war. It’s a competition dont compare to Vietnam dude. Gymnasts on Olympic team dont sign on to die like the military. Apples and Broccoli comparison.

btw she messed up and tried before she dropped out. You make it sound like she just woke up and decided. She was costing the team by not being able to do her best and the team won silver and did qmazing….if you lost a leg and couldn’t fight in war your team would cover for you .. same thing

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — as I wrote, I’m a pro athlete. At the highest stage, most athletes are very similar physically. What differentiates the GOAT from an average Joe is their mental toughness. It’s 99% mental at this point.

Agree with you had she pulled a muscle the world would have supported her withdrawal. Yet “the world” expects GOATs to overcome their fear — we’re all scared at that level.

Ever wonder why swimmers splash water on themselves prior to the race? They all shishi in their suits due to their nerves. We’re all scared. The anxiety is mind-blowing. Yet GOATs press on … that’s why they earn Gold and receive HUGE amounts of money. Society wants heroes.

And, yes, men consider a team going to war the same as a team on the football field. Men do compare our responsibility to the team the same as going to war. Guess that is one area men and women think differently. We would rather die than let down the team.

No one tells Michael Jordan when he can or cannot play in a basketball game. That’s why, on June 11, 1997, despite the warnings of his mother, Deloris Jordan, and team officials, a dramatically sick Jordan took to the court for Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals between the Chicago Bulls and the Utah Jazz.

Here’s a GOAT

Dramatically sick Jordan took to the court for Game 5 of 1997 NBA Finals between Chicago Bulls and the Utah Jazz
Dramatically sick Jordan took to the court for Game 5 of 1997 NBA Finals between Chicago Bulls and the Utah Jazz

Kimberly England MSc Psy
are you listening??? She wasn’t strong enough and could have cost the team. Everyone else especially her team, is proud of her for not letting ego cost her health and their team a medal. She was molested by a Dr and had been having issues from this…not something I hear about happening to mens teams so don’t compare. Again apples and broccoli.

being mentally broken or bent isn’t something you can control sometimes….and why psychologist have the roles they do. Really proud of her.

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — I watched the event. I know what happened same as you.

You claim “she wasn’t strong enough.” How do you know? How do you know what would have happened on her floor routine, the uneven bars or beam? She struggled on vault. Oh well, sometimes a player misses 20 shots in a game … he doesn’t quit. He keep shooting. He believes and trusts in himself, his training, his coach and team.

Ultimately, they got ZERO from Simone. She hurt the team by withdrawing. She left a hole in their squad.

This is what we’re saying. One never knows the future. Life is risk. Yes, she may have fallen off the beam. Such is sport. On the other hand, she may have hit a perfect 10.0.

HOWEVER, we always miss the shot we don’t take! Women are ascending. Wonderful. They need to be trained to deal with the pressure. Quitting on her team isn’t GOAT. Trying and failing is GOAT.

Please read these words … MJ lost many games, missed many shots, yet he KEPT going — he kept climbing the mountain. That’s why we honor him!!!

We’re all scared. Be Better!

Michael Jordan had the COURAGE to fail. That's why he succeeded.
Michael Jordan had the COURAGE to fail. That’s why he succeeded.

I added to Kimberly England MSc Psy — you wrote, “being mentally broken or bent isn’t something you can control sometimes.”

Actually, the MIND is the ONLY thing we can control.

KIM LAUGHED to be disrespectful

Kimberly England MSc Psy laughed at my comment being disrespectful

Kimberly England MSc Psy
some can’t. Your arguing with a mental health professional.

Me to Kimberly England MSc Psy — you’re arguing with a sports psychologist.

And, you’re correct. Some can’t. Weak-minded people cannot handle the “Privilege of Pressure.”

We’re trying to help those who have great physical skills learn how to have great mental skills. Your approach, in my humble professional opinion, holds Great Women back.

You are making excuses for being afraid or for having negative experiences in one’s past. The past is over.

The past lives ONLY in our mind.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
guess you know more than psychologist about mental health. I’m sure your familiar with PTSD. So those should just get over it. And not seek help? Your comment is so last century in my field. Again unless you work in my field dont play psychologist without the degree to back it up. Mahalo

Kimberly England MSc Psy
Brittany Rae want to chime in here?

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — are you listening? I’m a sports psychologist.

And, yes, I’m highly familiar with PTSD. Work with many Vets. And, as I said, the PAST lives in their minds. We work with the minds of those who suffer PTSD. We don’t work with their physical body. We work with their mind.

Now, are you a trained “sports psychologist”? Do you have a degree in sports psychology?


Jerilynne Gallup
Kimberly England MSc Psy totally agree!

Kimberly England MSc Psy
I was a club coach BG FOR 10 years. It’s a mental sport.

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — I asked if you were a trained sports psychologist, as you brought up the subject. I also know what CLUB means.

I coached in the Olympics … we earned the Silver medal.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
And I am a Behavioral psychologist. So I understand from a generalized perspective. If she isn’t ok mentally she can’t perform well physically.

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — of course, the honest professional answer is, “No, I’m not a trained sports psychologist.”

Millions of Americans understand from a “generalized” perspective.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
not as a profession. Ethically you would be sued with your attitude. Pau. [Pau means “finished” in Hawaiian Pidgin, but you will see Kimberly isn’t done]

club means I could run my own gym

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — maybe you can’t read well:

I AM A TRAINED SPORTS PSYCHOLOGIST

And, again, I understand what CLUB means. That distinction has nothing to do with this discussion.

KIM LAUGHED again to be disrespectful

Kimberly England MSc Psy again laughs at comment to be disrespectful

Kimberly England MSc Psy
it does. And stop judging someone who is struggling mentally. You look like a fool.

ethics have come a long way…so you are old school.

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — you “judged” Simone. Every athlete at the Olympics struggles with the mental pressure. That’s what I’m explaining to you. Those who can conquer their mind and fears have a shot at Gold. Those who cannot do not.

You wrote, “You look like a fool.” That’s referred to as an Ad Hominem attack and extremely unprofessional.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
you do look like a fool saying your a professional but totally unethical. End of.

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — you wrote, “ethics have come a long way…so you are old school.”

Again, you are attacking me. You talk about ethics while attacking another professional. It’s better to stick to the discussion rather than condescend others.


Kimberly England MSc Psy
Learn critical thinking skills. It’s part of growing mentally.

Your attitude it cruel and unkind.

Added link to article: Simone Biles Liked Tweets That Revealed Just How Dangerous Her Vault Was And How She Could’ve “Literally Died” If She Hadn’t Withdrawn From The Olympic Final

ME to Kimberly England MSc Psy — exactly! Men for generations have been asked to do “mentally tough” tasks, such as storm a beach at Normandy; be drafted to serve in Vietnam, and they “literally die” from supporting TeamUSA and being strong for their teammates.

My g, g grandfather, Robert A Lower, volunteered to serve as a union soldier during the Civil War. His commanders asked for volunteers for a dangerous — Forlorn Hope — mission. All had to be single, as none were expected to live.

At 18 years of age, Pvt Lower stepped forward with 150 other brave and heroic young men. The year was 1863. Their mission was to carry logs to the mote surrounding Fort Vicksburg. Under heavy enemy fire, he and his teammate first carried logs to construct a foundation for the bridge. On their return, they dragged wounded or dead comrades back.

Once they completed the foundation, they carried wooden slats to cover the logs and make a platform so the regiment could assault the fort. It took weeks to execute this mission. Imagine the horror Pvt Lower and others suffered each night wondering if they would be killed the next day.

However, these courageous young men completed the bridge. Of the 150, Pvt Lower was one of only 19 to survive. All earned the Congressional Medal of Honor. The Siege of Vicksburg was a major turning point in the war to FREE all human beings in America. This is the mental toughness of men.

Robert A Lower: Congressional Medal of Honor Recipient
Robert A Lower: Congressional Medal of Honor Recipient

America and TeamUSA asked Simone Biles to simply vault over a table, perform a complex physical routine on a spring-loaded floor, swing from the uneven bars or dance along 4″ wide balance beam.

Simone is one of the greatest physical female athletes in U.S. and world history. Her internal fears and mental anguish kept her from earning Gold in Tokyo 2020.

Our women deserve the opportunity to reach their highest potential. I strongly disagree with Kimberly England’s approach that tolerates excuses and does not demand excellence from this younger generation. I consider her position to be “cruel and unkind.”

What are your thoughts?


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Ko’olau of Kaua’i. I am the Defiant One
“I Believe We Can”

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