Mary Gritton and Mother Promote Domestic Violence in Idaho

Idaho is a beautiful place. Residents love to claim it is God’s country. Hard to argue with them. However, the remote and pristine wilderness allows pockets of uncivil people to hide out and continue backward practices. Northern Idaho is known for being a bastion of KKK-types and Neo-Nazis. Other rural areas continue many failed behaviors.

Here’s a few things to mull over about the state:

• Boise means “the trees” in French, since the earliest fur trappers, being French-Canadians, exclaimed the phrase with joy upon finding the spot with a great river.
• The state motto is “Esto Perpetua”, which means “It is forever”.
• Idaho has more miles of rivers than any other state at 3,100 miles. Also, the Salmon River is the longest free-flowing river that heads and flows within a single state
• Idaho has a state horse, the Appaloosa, and state fish, the prized cutthroat trout. It also has a state fruit…the huckleberry!
• The Center of the Universe is found there, in Wallace, population 800. Even has a manhole cover marking the exact spot.
• It’s called the Gem State because of the 72 types of precious and semi-precious stones found here, including possibly the largest diamond ever found in the US!
• One of the world’s rare blue football fields can be found at BSU, nicknamed the Smurf Turf.
• The first alpine chairlift was used in Sun Valley, and in 1936 the fee was 25 cents per ride.
• Idaho’s Hell’s Canyon is the deepest gorge in the US, deeper even than the Grand Canyon. And Shoshone Falls near Twin Falls drops 52 feet farther than Niagara Falls.
• And Idaho has the largest hops farm in the world, Elk Mountain Farms, which grows its crop for Anheuser-Busch.

Over the weekend, I found a meme from one of my social media friends, Mary Gritton, which was extremely disturbing. Mary is likely a decent person, however she encourages behavior that promotes domestic violence. When I cautioned her about the language — as words matter — she and her friends aggressively attacked me verbally.

Mary believes it’s acceptable for a woman to “yell at her boyfriend.” She posted a meme from an empowered young female, Damn it, I’m Sexy: “I’m not the perfect girlfriend. I’ll yell at you, get jealous, be stubborn, over think, get insecure.”

RESPONSE: I don’t allow ANY gf to yell at me. And no reason to be jealous, stubborn or applaud over-thinking and insecurities. That’s not LOVE !!!

As I explained to Mary, I wasn’t on her SHIT. She had posted her meme in the public and her words appeared on my newsfeed. I don’t allow violent commentary.

Mary attempted to defend her statement by rationalizing that it is normal to be insecure, overthink and yell at others. I had stated that ALL humans are insecure, but that does not justify yelling at someone.

Mary is correct. We don’t really know each other. Mary connected with me to INCREASE her number of friends and appear popular on social media. Facebook started as a “social networking” platform.

However, users have turned the experience into social media where they market their social preferences, promote their political beliefs and sell their personal images. Mary was not networking with me; she was advertising her “person” to me.

Mary tells friends and strangers: “I speak my mind and if you don’t like what I say, close your ears and don’t listen to what I have to say.”

Lives in Twin Falls, Idaho. From Twin Falls, Idaho, and claims to be in a relationship. If she says something that disturbs you, your fault. Close your ears and don’t listen to her. What arrogance!

Mary is normalizing yelling at a domestic partner. As women are becoming more vocal and empowered, they appear to believe they are justified to engage in violent behavior. This modern trend is dangerous.

Over my professional career, I have counseled and worked with boys and men to help them better control their emotions. Some of the men were in prison — serving life sentences for murder or serious anti-social behavior. I’ve worked with young boys and teens, assisting them to avoid violent behavior, drugs, alcohol abuse and tobacco initiation.

The new generations of women — particularly on social media — like to express themselves more violently. Hiding behind a computer screen allows people to behave in extremely anti-social ways. One would likely get punched in the nose speaking in-person as they do.

A woman recently told me to “eat a bag of dicks” when I responded to her meme about the recent election. America is investing heavily to help women move up the social, political and economic ladder. Is this behavior the result of our efforts? Why are women acting like immature males?

Mary’s friend, Elizabeth Lammers, jumped in to explain the reason for the promotion of violence. Apparently, Toni believes a victim of abuse is allowed to yell at someone, because they had insecurities and overthink every little thing. Further, Toni prides herself being a bitch to others.

Sure, Toni! Continue the cycle. Woman is abused; she abuses the man; the man abuses a child; the child grows to abuse others.

Woman Cause Domestic Violence

Imagine a situation where a man — boyfriend or husband — returns home from a long day. Wasn’t a good day for him. His boss criticized his performance and put him on notice. The man felt he was treated unfairly, and that the manager had not listened to his explanation. He was frustrated.

His female partner wasn’t having a good day either. She was trying to get their young child settled down and the hose to the washing machine had sprung a leak. Water spraying, child crying, and she was frustrated.

Paul walked in to chaos, and Sally YELLED at him: “Why don’t you buy me a new washing machine???”

Sally YELLED. Paul was in a poor mental state; he was upset, emotional and frustrated. He grabbed the wrench to attempt to shut off the water value. Sally YELLED at him again, “Look at this mess!!!”

In frustration, Paul HIT Sally.

Paul had never hit Sally previously. At times, both had argued and yelled. This time, Paul snapped. The stress from his day, struggles with his boss, and now, Sally yelling at him led him to use physical force.

One challenge we face when working with men and boys is to get them to better understand and express their emotions. Males tend to hide their feelings. They’ve been conditioned by society to not show weakness; to not cry; to not talk about their frustrations. Males have been socialized to believe discussing emotional issues is feminine and unmanly.

Men who serve in the military suffer this affliction of silence. And we lose an estimated 40-50 Veterans each day due to suicide. Men and boys suffer significantly more suicide than females — however, society at this time puts more emphasis on women and girls.

Paul had locked up his emotions. Sally triggered a release — and in this case, her words of anger led to his physical use of violence. Paul will be punished. Possibly put in jail. Nobody questions Sally’s role in this domestic dispute.

Mary’s Mother is Real Problem

Melina Jasper, Mary’s mother, decided to pile on in the conversation. I did not know her; never spoken with her previously.

There again is the violence — take a walk. Get outta here. Melina is unfamiliar with the mechanics of social media. I was not on her daughter’s feed. Her daughter posted to MY newsfeed. She should be scolding her daughter for publishing a meme of violence. Instead, she assaulted me.

Melina stated, “Sure did but it was in HER page! Not yours furthermore it didn’t affect you she don’t yell at you nor does she yell at her spouse not that it’s your concern if you dislike what she post delete her off your page simple fix really.”

I responded, “I don’t DELETE people off my page. I consider that to be uncivil and a violent act as well. I attempted to discuss it with her politely. There is a BETTER way to LOVE.”

Not sure why Melina needed to engage with me. On social media, one can simply unfriend and go away. These women didn’t want to go away — they wanted to fight; they wanted to argue with me.

I had criticized Mary for posting a meme that promotes domestic violence. They were embarrassed being called out. Now, they wanted to pummel me for exposing their negative and anti-social behavior.

In an email, I explained to Melina why the meme concerned me. She said, OK. Then I asked her to explain why her daughter was promoting domestic violence. Melina wrote to me:

Look you’re a chump you don’t know the first f thing about me so get off my back bro and for your information I don’t owe you s* and you’re not going to sit in brow beat me on the way I raised my child

you don’t know nothing about me so here you are talking about domestic violence but here you are browbeating me and forcing me to give you an explanation

guess what homie you are no better than any other person that’s in a domestic violence situation so take your pathetic excuse for being this better than that thou art dude and get on down the f* road and leave me alone you don’t feed me you don’t f* and you don’t pay my bills so at the end of the day I don’t owe you s*.

So there’s your goddamn explanation have a good night and quit harassing me creep

Like mother; like daughter. This uncivil woman had no reason to speak to me this way. She is rude and teaches her daughter to behave similarly. Foul and filthy language; uncivil conversation.

I had not harassed her. Had never spoken with her until she attacked me. Unkind women who ruin the beauty and majesty of Idaho and social media. You can see how easily it is for both Mom and Mary to YELL at someone. These are abusive women who likely will raise more abusive children.

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Ko’olau of Kaua’i. I am the Defiant One
“I Believe We Can”