They Live Amongst Us. God Help Us All

My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

She said, “you gave me too much money.”

I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.”

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said, “We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.” The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.


We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, “You need a 1/4 horsepower.”

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, “NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.”

We haven’t used that repairman since…

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: “Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

Idiot sighting in food service.

My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.”

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”

He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an “intellectually challenged” co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, “what on earth are blind people doing driving?!”

She’s a government employee…

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open!”

His reply, “I know. I already did that side.”

STAY ALERT! [source: Christine Bruffee]

Was working recently with a female reporter from Honolulu New Now. Speaking about a guy I know, she said, he “started getting interested in CBD products because he was looking for an alternative to marijuana.” There’s no “marijuana.” The name was made up by a racist government official in 1937 [source]. Young, liberals claim everyone’s a racist — except themselves.

Harry Jacob Anslinger was a United States government official who served as the first commissioner of the U.S. Treasury Department’s Federal Bureau of Narcotics.

They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…

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Ko’olau of Kaua’i. I am the Defiant One
“I Believe We Can”

One thought on “They Live Amongst Us. God Help Us All

  1. Oh these are hilarious. To think there are so many of them walking among us! I quit giving change to get a dollar back. They do not understand when you explain. The man trying to unlock the car door was so funny. My brother the locksmith would get a good laugh over that one. Thanks for sharing.

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