Huffington Post has become a portal for people, primarily women and those in minority groups, to air grievances. They provide a useful service. People who feel marginalized now have a platform where they can share experiences and find commonality with others.
The downside is the publication has become Whiny Post. Editors select stories that normalize fearful behavior and attitudes, while demeaning strong women, as Scott wrote in a recent article.
Years ago, feminists applauded strong women who could kick someone’s ass — “Hear me roar,” they would say. Today, it’s okay to be a pussy! [Yes, I said pussy. If the president can say pussy, if Michelle Wolf can use the term at the White House Correspondent’s dinner, so can I. Get over it!]
Referring to Trump’s absence at the event … “I would drag him here myself, but it turns out that the President of the United States is the one pussy you’re not allowed to grab.” ~ Michelle Wolf
I don’t use the term pussy to be crude. For educated people, pussy is short for pusillanimous, which means lacking courage or determination; to be timid. Some less-informed Beavis & Butthead types may consider pussy to be synonymous with vagina. How unfitting! The vagina certainly isn’t spineless or faint-hearted. She takes quite a beating and rarely complains.
Frankly, I wish more women were as brave as their vagina. Guest Millennial writer, Brianna D’Alessio South, told readers her “horror” story about a visit with a new OB-GYN. She wrote, “I wished I had the courage at least to push the question back into her court…” Simply put, Ms. South is a pussy!
The female doctor asked her if she wanted to have children. “No, we don’t want kids. Right now, it’s a no.” Brianna said the doctor replied immediately, “Well, you should. You’re educated, you’re pretty, you really should. It’s up to you to populate society with good people. My generation is counting on it.” Brianna says she laid there and took it, frozen by her own shock and settling into a sadness fueled by shame. Brianna took it because she’s a pussy!
Women in general are pussies who do not display courage. A woman (afraid to tell us her real name) called Grace publicly shamed Aziz Ansari because he wasn’t sensitive in her opinion to her sexual needs. Grace said she cried the whole ride home. Aziz had the courage to go after his. Grace didn’t have the courage to teach Aziz how to pleasure her. She claims she felt violated.
Grace freely agreed to go home with a guy she didn’t know well. That’s not courageous — it’s stupid — a strange guy (who coincidentally is famous), much alcohol, and willingness to return to his apartment. Huffington Post writers don’t scold Grace for having bad judgment. They blame Aziz for pushing sex on her without noticing (or without caring about) what she wants.
Many women will agree with Grace and Huffington Post. They’re pussies as well. For those of you who celebrate pusillanimity, I recommend you spend about $10 and read, Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus. Ladies, you don’t know what I want. And, I certainly don’t know what is best for you. Each of us must have the courage to teach our partner. If you don’t feel safe enough to teach me how to properly pleasure you, then you don’t know me well enough to jump in my bed.
Courage is earned
People frequently say to me, “You’re fearless!” This is false. I suffer fear, as do all creatures. The difference is I have the courage to look fear directly in the eyes and press forward. I’m a privileged man. Many dudes are pussies as well. I was raised differently. When I was in third grade, my father found me hiding in the house from bullies. He was clear — stand up to them or he would kick my ass. Third grade!
Women like Brianna would likely scream, “Child abuse!”
The next day, I didn’t run from the bully and his friends. When the bully pushed me, I pushed back. He then hit me. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would and I returned a fury of punches. I was tall and lanky. I wasn’t strong, but I was quick — and accurate. I likely hit him ten times in the face before he could even fall to the ground. And, when he fell, he was a bloody mess. With my adrenaline pumping, I didn’t stop. Over and over and over I punched the creep. When a teacher finally pulled me off him, I was still punching.
I learned a good lesson that day. Never initiate aggression, but if someone pushes you, don’t push back, hit them hard. If they hit back, hit them ten times — or a hundred times. Learn to be a Gentle Giant. If cornered, as feminists said wisely, “let them hear you roar.”
Learning to have courage
Brianna submitted her story to Huffington Post because she wanted the callous female doctor to be WOKE about her needs. (Mahalo ke Akua the doctor was a woman. I’m tired of hearing stories about insensitive men.) It’s likely the doctor will never hear her story. Thus, Brianna’s work will simply be another whiny post. Let’s take a look at Brianna’s comments and point out how she should have, and could have, demonstrated courage to earn the respect she felt she deserved.
If you consider this mansplaining, you’re a pussy! I’m not the one crying in a parking lot because a strange doctor suggested my wife and I should have children.
STATEMENT 1: I didn’t want to argue with my doctor, someone who was supposed to be guiding a supportive conversation regarding my reproductive questions and my future health.
This is a passive-aggressive response. Brianna did want to argue with her doctor. Her OB-GYN upset her in the examination room and it led to this article. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it.
Brianna claims the doctor is “supposed to be guiding a supportive conversation.” This is a typical Millennial belief. The doctor is supposed to examine her medically. Conversation is optional. Doctors definitely are not required to be supportive. If you smoke cigarettes or are overweight, society expects the doctor to be honest. Stop smoking! Start exercising or go on a diet! Millennial parents raised their children in “protective bubbles.” They didn’t teach them how to deal with bullies or argue civilly. Their children are handicapped in our conflictual and dangerous world.
STATEMENT 2: She didn’t deserve my rebuttal. I didn’t have the energy to try to convince another outsider that, yes, this was the right decision for me.
Brianna claims the doctor didn’t deserve her rebuttal and she didn’t have the energy, which again is a passive-aggressive response. Huffington Post published her rebuttal, which took much energy. Brianna simply didn’t have the courage to look the doctor in the eyes and says, “This is right decision for my husband and me.” If she can’t overcome this minor challenge, how can she run a business, lead a classroom or raise a family?
STATEMENT #3: At first, I tried to shake it off but found myself crying in the office parking lot.
Brianna had a conversation with a stranger, “a doctor I’d known for less than five minutes,” about her plans to have children, and Brianna prides herself “on being as transparent as possible with friends and family regarding this issue.” She said she has heard the same commentary for years. The doctor’s opinion was not unexpected. Only pussies cry outside the office in the parking lot.
STATEMENT #4: A line was crossed between doctor and patient.
This is Brianna’s opinion, just as Grace felt Aziz crossed a line sexually. Fine! Tell them. Have the courage to look someone in the eyes and say, “No. This is not okay with me.” Otherwise, suffer the coward’s Death of 10,000 Slashes. The brave one dies but once!
STATEMENT #5: I’ve replayed that conversation in my mind, recognizing all the ways she was in the wrong.
Brianna is totally pusillanimous here. The doctor isn’t wrong at all. She has a right to her opinion. The doctor’s advice might not be useful to Brianna. All Brianna needed to do was tell this to the doctor — or simply ignore the doctor’s comments. All Grace had to do was tell Aziz that his sexual behavior wasn’t pleasant for her. If he’s a worthwhile guy, he’ll change. If not, kick him to the curb. Simple! The brave move forward while pussies languish in their self-pity.
STATEMENT #6: But I just didn’t expect this from my doctor, in a setting where we need to feel safe having vulnerable conversations.
Since I’m not a female, I’m not sure what ladies expect from their OB-GYN, but I certainly would consider it normal behavior for a doctor to inquire about a woman’s plan for children. Brianna reported she was used to being asked this question. Brianna is an extremely hypersensitive and fragile person. Toughen up!
Similar to the lesson I learned about bullies when I was a kid, safety is earned and this requires work. If Brianna wants a safe space for vulnerable conversations, she must have the courage to carve out the sanctuary. Of course, society’s not expecting Brianna to pull out her light saber and slaughter six Sith lords. Not at all! Simply say to the doctor, “Our decision is none of your damn business.” Or for women like Grace, push him away and say, “Treat me right or get out!”
STATEMENT #7: To the OB-GYN who left me feeling exposed, I hope you listen next time before you casually dismiss a patient’s choice.
To Brianna, next time you feel slighted, speak up! #TimesUp on pusillanimous and passive-aggressive behavior. You’re an adult now. You’re a woman in a tough, dangerous world. If you want the doctor and others to “recognize the validity of each woman who walks through your door,” then look the person in the eye and tell them. Nobody respects pussies!
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