UPDATE 9.6.19: Kelli Ryan, from Kapa’a, Hawai’i, posted a familiar meme about Brock Turner. I’m not writing to defend Brock. I’m criticizing the Party Culture and Hookup Environment that pressures young people into excessive alcohol consumption on our college campuses that leads to sexual assault and rape.
Although none of us were there to know specifically what happened, her friends replied:
Raenell Shimabukuro: Pig
Shawna Forsey: WTF !! So disgusting
Paul Onomura: Good for him, being labeled as a rapist. Once a sex offender, always a sex offender.
I wrote: Emily Doe identified herself this week as Chanel Miller. Both she and Brock were intoxicated at the party. Chanel was 21 and legal to drink. How did 19-year-old Brock get into this adult party? How did Brock get served large quantities of alcohol? Brock didn’t come to sexually assault anyone. He got drunk and behaved badly. He was wrong.
Why the Double Standard in America? If a female is intoxicated, she is not held responsible for her behavior. If a male is intoxicated, he is. Why do women get a pass on irresponsible behavior?
I was 17 when a DRUNK college coed sexually assaulted me. I didn’t drink and had better judgment when she passed out on me. I could have been in Brock’s situation — yet it was the female who was raping me!
Chanel Miller was first introduced to the world as “Emily Doe.” She was the unconscious, intoxicated woman who is considered the victim of drunk Stanford University swimmer Brock Turner. She now wants to make millions selling her book about the horror she suffered. This is in part what is wrong in America.
Chanel has written “Know My Name,” where “she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words,” according to her publisher, Viking. Book releases September 24th.
Chanel Miller behaved in a reckless manner. She freely got herself so intoxicated she lost control. She contributed to her negligence. She freely left the party to go outside with Turner. It’s not disputed she was sexually assaulted by Turner, but she just as easily could have gotten behind the wheel of a car and killed someone. She was that over-intoxicated. She didn’t know what she was doing. This is in part what is wrong with America.
Broke Turner behaved in a reckless manner. I offer him no pass. He lost his scholarship, was kicked out of one of America’s more prestigious colleges, and embarrassed himself and family for life. He contributed to his negligence. Nothing suggests Brock was a predator who came to the party simple to abuse someone. He drank too much and made poor decisions. This is in part what is wrong in America.
Yet Brock was socially assaulted by the irresponsible alcohol drinking culture on our nation’s college campuses. How did a 19-year-old boy get into this party designed for ages 21 and over? How was he served alcohol in the first place? This is in part what is wrong in America.
Liberal Stanford did what most liberal groups do when facing a challenge — ban the instrument. Similar to gun violence, liberals want to ban guns rather than demand responsible behavior.
Stanford’s undergraduate students are no longer allowed to drink hard alcohol at on-campus parties. First, most undergraduate students are under the age of 21. They should not be drinking alcohol at all. Now they can only have beer or wine. Second, bans such as this do not work. Third, the solution is and has always been to teach responsible behavior, as they do in many countries in Europe for example.
As a nation, we have failed to instill a sense of responsibility in our youngsters — in part because our leaders do not behave responsibly. We are a nation of arrogant, pretentious and spoiled teenagers.
Drinking of Alcohol Ritual of College Experience
Alcohol, and particularly hard alcohol, is implicated in a variety of problems that continue to be present in the Stanford community. These include alcohol poisoning, sexual assault and relationship violence, organizational conduct problems, and academic problems.
Stanford President John Hennessy and Provost John Etchemendy
About 1,825 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die from alcohol-related injuries including car crashes every year, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. The National Institute of Health reports about 97,000 college students are sexually assaulted or raped in cases related to alcohol. Is there anything more dangerous on our college campuses?
Stanford is not the only college grappling with binge drinking and alcohol issues. Yet none have the courage to provide the necessary leadership.
My History As a Geeky Nerd
I grew up in a Mormon community. Didn’t experiment with alcohol until I got to college. Was also a virgin when I went to college. I primarily dated Mormon girls. They had strict moral values. We kissed. That was all. There was no second base, third or home runs. We kissed. Today, there is a hook-up culture in America. This is in part what is wrong with America.
When the Turner-Miller incident occurred, I defended Brock to a point. He is guilty for touching, humping, sexually-assaulting Ms. Miller once she passed out. No question. What most of society missed is Ms. Miller consented to a point. We know she consented to go outside. We know she consented to kiss. She may have consented to moving on to second and third base. When did she pass out? We don’t know. She and Turner were both intoxicated. Both were contributing to the negligence of their situation. Both are guilty!
As I wrote years ago, the University of Idaho brought me to their campus in the spring of 1975 on a basketball recruiting trip. UI was a known and famous party school. I was there three nights — and, yes, they really did party. I had fun — didn’t drink one drop of alcohol. I was a committed athlete. Didn’t drink. Was also just 17.
Males and females offered me plenty of alcohol. Refused. I felt the social pressure. Was a geek, a nerd to them. They tolerated me as I was still in high school and they wanted me to sign a scholarship to play for their team. Expectations would be different if I joined the Vandals next year though.
My date was a 22-year-old coed. Was quite attractive, poised and worldly. Coach gave her $100 to take me to dinner and show me around. She drank most of the money! She was also all over me. She had my pants open; had pulled down her panties. She was the aggressive one. I was just a kid.
Truth was I was having fun. Doesn’t matter. It’s still statutory rape. I was no different than Chanel Miller. This woman was taking advantage of me in her drunken stupor fueled with alcohol.
Then, she passed out. Scared the crap out of me. Didn’t notice at first. Wasn’t that experienced and frankly wasn’t paying direct attention to her mouth and face. I was kissing elsewhere on her body. She had her hands on my penis. She had been moaning and urging me to give her more.
When I finally noticed she had stopped participating, I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t know alcohol could cause a person to pass out. Remember shaking her. She seemed to re-engage with me at that point. “Come on, baby. Let’s do it,” she mumbled.
She played with me; stimulated me; pulled me on top of her. Believe the weight of my body on top of her was the final straw. Had I known what to do, I’m certain I would have penetrated her. I was a kid; a geeky nerd. While I was fumbling around, she passed out for good.
I had been somewhat arched on top of her. My hand was trying to line up body parts while resting on one shoulder. We were cramped on a broken down couch. Wasn’t a comfortable position. She had rushed me to a convenient dark spot. When I looked up, I found her fast asleep — or dead — or something. Hell, I didn’t know what was going on. She was fueled on alcohol. I was fueled on sexual excitement and arousal.
What if two grad students had walked in right then? I’ve got my dick in my hand — about to penetrate her — and she’s passed out. Listen ladies, I was following orders! Yes, happily; yes, willfully, but someone could have claimed I was abusing, raping or sexually assaulting her.
I was not doing any of these things. I was a kid of 17. This older woman was driving our date. Brock Turner was 19. He was underage and should not have been allowed to even be at the party let alone have access to alcohol. She was the legal adult. She was responsible for her behavior. He was underage.
To me, Brock was guilty of many things. He knew the law. Shouldn’t have been drinking alcohol. He’s stuck with the consequences of his 20-minutes of irresponsible behavior the rest of his life. Young men should heed his example and be warned.
Chanel Miller is guilty as well. She was irresponsible. She contributed to her negative situation. Saddens me she writes a book but this appears typical in our current environment. She should be ashamed of her reckless and negligent behavior.
“I had multiple swabs inserted into my vagina and anus, needles for shots, pills, had a Nikon pointed right into my spread legs. I had long, pointed beaks inside me and had my vagina smeared with cold, blue paint to check for abrasions.”
In the shower later, she decided:
“I don’t want my body anymore. I was terrified of it. I didn’t know what had been in it, if it had been contaminated, who had touched it. I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it at the hospital with everything else.”
Men: remember Brock Turner. Behave responsibly.
Women: remember Chanel Miller. Behave responsibly.
This is a good lesson for America: Behave Responsibly.
To all my former Mormon girlfriends, thank you for teaching me to behave responsibly. Thank you for having strong morals and conviction to discipline young men like me. You showed me we didn’t need to have sex to enjoy each other’s company. You also taught me to be an excellent kisser. My wife appreciates this today. America needs your guidance more than ever now.
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